Why LSUcks

Man, I’m tired. Sick and tired of all the yapping I’ve been hearing from out of that crappy bayou. And the Lord blew many of you to the A – my hometown, in GEORGIA. So I see and hear y’all all fall, and all summer at the pool it was uncool Bayou Bengal fool drool. You never let the facts get in the way of your arguments, which is understandable coming from a bunch of AINTS’ fans.

What I meant when I said that you were the worst champ in the modern history of college football last year, my cajun dears, was this: You lost two games. Kentucky beat you. Arkansas beat you. There ain’t nothin’ very special about Arkansas…EVER, and Kentucky should not be beating you off the hardcourt. Your last six regular season games last year: four and two. You win two out of three, twice and fall to number seven, and we are clearly, plainly apparent by our late season play at worst the second best team in the country at the time and have the ranking to prove it, and the voters switch us in the polls after ESPN poormouths us. We fall to seventh on the heals of a perfect half-season in which we won every game by double digits, including blowouts over Florida and Auburn: two teams you regularly have some struggle with. WE WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP FOR YOU. Congrats on beating the Suckeyes in a home game – we would have whipped them worse and would have beaten you by ten plus. You would have been 2nd or 3rd in the SEC East last season. But how did it shake out? We tied Tennessee in record and they had beaten us and we took Florida out for the Vols and they were overmatched against you. They had a nice early season and a weak late schedule and won the East. This is not a knock on UT. This is a knock on you. It won’t take triple overtime to take you out this year. No popularity contest championship for you this year. The SEC East’s best team is about to come to your town.

No matter this week’s outcome, we will always regret never playing you last season, when we were clearly the stronger squad. You get us at home. You get us a week before the SEC East championship in Jacksonville. You get us with a new O-line, again, versus your veteran D. We just get you. This time, like five of the last seven times we have played: WE GET YOU. GO DAWGS!!!