Tight Ends Win Deep South Rivalry

Tight Ends Win Deep South Rivalry

Han Vance on the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry: Auburn invented the toothbrush, I reckon, those Plainsmen. If it had been invented at UGA, it would have been called the teeth-brush. AUBURN stands for Alabama Usually Beats Us Red Necks, but all Bama jokes – especially involving overtime or 4th and 11 fake punts – ain’t funny ’round here, y’all. WE, are the inventors of both dirtySouth football (1892, Herty Field in the Classic City, vs. Mercer, of Macon) and American public higher education (1785).

Both are kind of a big deal…and Alabama didn’t invent anything except Kirby Smart – he was born there. His haircuts give it away. Just razzing you, Coach. You can take it. Just an older peer classmate – who has stayed true to the school every single second since I started there in 1990 (I attended 1990-1993 & 1996-1998) – giving you the business.

Kirby best be all about whole-team business the next three games: Aubie, Tennessee (on a 7-game run) and the ’92 Cowboys…I mean his former employer, who looks good at football, this year.

We’re the co-inventors of true Southern football rivalry at the commencement of the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry, our second game, a Feb 20, 1892, 0-10 loss to “sister school” Auburn, previously called Redneck-Tech or some such. That game was played in Midtown Atlanta’s Piedmont Park, right down the street from my home in leafy Historic Druid Hills, in the undeniable World Capital of College Football.

Give us our due, damn it. We’ve whipped War Eagle A$$ a Bama-like 8-of-10 and 12-of-15, dating back to when I was a wee lad of 35 writing a book about traveling California and getting divorced (“Golden State Misadventures” – Silver Stone Press, editions ’15, ’16, ’18. And ’21 — 2020 didn’t deserve anymore “GSM,” apparently — online bookstore: www.silverstonepress.com for info & to buy “RE: invent” ’19).

Tight ends will win the day Between the Hedges. Old auBARN has a well-fed 300-pounder at the position I hope to not see on top of our Richard LeCounte III, a senior safety frontrunner for the Jim Thorpe award with four picks in his last two games, after leading Georgia in INTs with just four last year, or Eric Stokes Jr., emerging as his primary competition for the award, for best DB in the nation, who had a pick six last week and will be matching Seth Williams Saturday.

Fav show ESPN’s College GameDay will be on-hand, because Ol’ GEORGIA has money and magic. It’s in awesome Athens, Ga. #Rockville ~ 7:30 p.m. kickoff. Autumnal Saturday in Athens football in the dark…

BOOM! It’s time to get excited. It’s rivalry season.

Money is the true frosh from Vegas wearing number 0. It is Year Zero, y0, and I’m betting on black…Darnell Washington is a bad man. Bodies in the (football) desert, type bad man, he de-cleated an Arkansas Razorback last weekend, without breaking stride and also soared for a leaping grab that would have made Seth Williams stare. He’ll see the ball more.

Shoutout to my friend, alum/author/attorney Jeffry A. Head (“jah”), for pointing out that key block, as it started going viral on the web. Good catch, sir. I first wrote about Mr. Washington around national signing day, in an article for UGA Wire, a part of the USA Today sports network. He was the top offensive get in the number one recruiting class in the country and part of a trend of UGA getting the best guys from out of state and out of region. Fans can thank themselves for this, Kirby says. It’s based own how we showed out at the Rose Bowl; I was there with the lovely, affable, talented Tara Shah, of 33N83W podcast (from Cloudcast Media).

Showed up at Notre Dame en masse, lit up the Sanford Stadium night when old ND played here, and got their boasting butts beat, barely.

Han Vance in ATL

Han Vance in ATL

Magic is FitzPatrick, yes it is spelled with a big “P” – FitzMagic is the touchdown catcher who broke a tight SEC road game wide open for Georgia, on a special delivery from The Mailman aka IV ~ Stetson Bennett IV is easily the best story for UGA this season, so far, by the way. I’ll be gloating about us saying he may play a lot and save the day, on my new show today, the amazing podcast called The Dawg Pawg – y’all can now find it on SoundCloud. Soon: everywhere.

Debut/pilot episode was called “The Dawg Days of Fall,” also the catchy name of our old country rock-sounding theme song, by my excellent executive producer and co-host out of NYC, Sam Casaccio, of Samsy And The Champ (podcast) fame. It’ll be THE game day hit song by midseason, I predict. …And I don’t miss often…

The tight end position, used to most effect, has been a real glaring weakness of the Kirby Smart era in Athens, even though they recruited five-star Isaac Nauta, a bad attitude, great talent guy. I saw Nauta (and long-haired Euro-suited Eason) out in Memphis at the Liberty Bowl eve; they were total arrogant pricks. Then when I was tailgating with mamma’s cheese grit legend Merv Waldrop, 6th-generation Georgia man Richard Hilley and a cast of cool characters, like my nice Savannah buddy Travis Carter, Nauta’s unfriendly dad was around, and I photographed him for Bulldawg Illustrated.

Just not nice. That isn’t the Georgia Way.

Here’s my (#1) gameday guy Hilley…he’s nice:

Richard Hilley

But at football, which matters the most maybe, Nauta was so underused in the passing game, especially his sophomore season. Todd Monken wont make the same mistake Jim Chaney (and Coach Smart and Jake Fromm) did. The tight ends will see the damn football – the position is almost always open, wide receivers can effectively run off the coverage on deep routes, which it isn’t that hard to run straight and fast at that age and physical skill level.

I’m writing a book on Kirby’s tenure in Athens, by the way. ANNOUNCEMENT: “Kirby Chronicles: Coach Smart in Classic City” Copyright HV 2020 is forthcoming.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, again. …Meanwhile, keep an eye out for an new UGA humor book by the aforementioned Jeffry A. Head.